The promoters of the "Pro-Life" movement are doing a great thing, and many of them are pure in motive and action. The movement as a whole attracts good people from almost every denomination, and this has given us Catholics some common ground in which to work with our separated brethren, resulting (I might add) in quite a few conversions.

However, there are many people who are for "Pro-life" and yet are a great part of the real problem. Abortion is death. Abortion is murder. But murder is the result of the sin, which is the murderer. The murderer is the result of a society that brought us to this point: a society that kills children for expediency.

We all know this, so why are some of the "Pro-Life" people at fault? Many "Pro-Life" people are priests, who think that it is not a sin to tell couples that it’s OK to live with someone before marriage. Many think it’s not wrong to masturbate. Downplay of sin in the confessional is a major problem today, especially for young adults. Yet, even this is not the real problem. It goes much deeper than that. We are picking leaves off the tree, but the root of the tree is still there.



At the start of World War II, no real family in America allowed their children to date without an escort. That is why there were so many barn dances, clubs for children, and porch swings. No one, boy or girl, man or woman, lived away from home until they got married. Then three things extended into the world simultaneously: cars, television, and the war.

The war took most of the men away, and forced the young women (for the good of the country) to go to work in the factories (Rosie the Riveter). The results of this were that single women, in some cases, left home and took apartments near their jobs, and they became independent of their families. They had their own money, their own job, their own apartments, and they were single. This never happened before in all of history; not to mention cars, television and the new American religion, psychology, where sex is the new god.

So, what are we saying? The problem is not abortion, the problem is dating. Now, before you think this is crazy, read on. Where in the six thousand year history of the world did parents allow their children, before marriage, to date? By dating we mean for a boy and a girl to be left alone without a chaperon. "Well, this is the twentieth century!" Yes! It is the twentieth century, and in all but about five countries in the world, no true Christian, Jewish, Moslem, Buddhist, or even Pagan family allows their children to go on dates without a chaperon. Yes, even today in almost all the world.

To a Catholic, it is even more critical. We Catholics go to confession and promise to God (make a pledge to God) that we will "avoid the mere occasion of sin". What does it mean to "avoid the mere occasion of sin"? Anything that might tempt you to sin must be avoided. This pledge to God was so important to the early saints that any temptation that came even into their mind was driven out with mortification, sometimes by whipping their bodies into submission. For a parent to allow their children to break that pledge to God is a major sin in itself.

Today even very good and holy families do not see the problem before their own eyes. "My children are good. I can trust them." Hogwash! You would not even trust yourself, at 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 or 80 years of age, to be alone with the opposite sex without great risk to your salvation and your reputation. The problem is dating. No girl ever got pregnant in front of her mother.


"They would sneak out if we didn’t let them date." Yes, today that might happen, but at least you are not part of the problem. You, as parents, are not condoning the action. How many young pregnant girls are there today that do not in some way blame their parents for being too permissive? We see little girls, not more than two or three years old, dressed up like little fashion dolls with skirts no longer than their underpants. Ten-year-old girls, in mini-skirts going on dates is common today.

Television has become the baby-sitter. What impact has television had in our society? In 1942 in America, the average age for a girl to start her period was 16-1/2 years. Today it is 10-1/2 years. Why the change? The body reacts to (or follows) the mind. Where the mind takes it, the body will follow. When there is nothing in the mind but the things sold on television, the body reacts. We allow them to listen to music about sex, we let them dress for sex, we let them date, and then we get all upset when they get pregnant. It’s inevitable. It has to happen. It’s Murphy’s Law.


We go to Mass and the reader walks up to the platform in a skin tight mini-skirt. The Extraordinary Minister passes out communion in a mini-skirt. Even in the Catholic Schools, parents hem up the uniforms so their little babies will not feel out of place in this new age. At Steubenville University boys are allowed in the women’s dorms. Priests are a scandal all over the country for what? Sex crimes! Prominent lay evangelists, preaching all over the country, end up with pregnant girl friends. We find people who are daily communicants, people who spend an hour a day before the Blessed Sacrament, ending up pregnant and unmarried. Why? They do not avoid the mere occasion of sin. Even at 50 to 100 years of age, it would be a sin to date, for it ruins reputations and breaks the oath to God.


In the law of God, there is a chain of command. This does not make one better than the other, but it is required for the social order of things. This chain (starting from the bottom) is: children, mothers, fathers, grandfathers, elders, judges, presidents or kings, priests, bishops, and pope. As you see, priests are higher than kings in the order of authority. This order is from God. This is what makes for a social, harmonious society. This order starts in the home. The wife obeys the husband, the children obey the mother, all obey the elders of the extended family. When all is done with love, it works very well.

Without it, however, (even without love) all society falls down. This idea that children have equal rights with parents is something out of science fiction. At a very young age (one or two) children start with the "No!" or "I don’t want to." Since when does a child have the right to say "No"? Can you say "No" to your boss at work? Can you say "No" to the police? Can you say "No" to the law? The minute children can say "No", all control is gone. The result is anarchy, anarchy in the home. It has come to the point, in some homes, that the children run the parents. In some homes the parents are actually afraid of their children. If you think children have equal rights with parents, then Murphy’s Law is waiting for you. For that lack of respect will go on into all their lives. If you are a man of authority, you must also be a man of example, which means doing what you ask others to do.


Happy children are those who have order in their lives. They cannot give that order to themselves. They must learn self discipline, but that only comes from an outside discipline first. Children want many things, but they must learn to pay the price for what they want and for their mistakes. They must learn the value of giving instead of always taking. This is not natural to children. A child is born a taker. It wants and wants and wants, but never gives. Christian love is contrary to nature. Let’s repeat that. Christian love is contrary to nature. It is beyond nature, and therefore super-natural. The natural thing is to do what the animals do. If they want to go, they go. If they want to sleep, they sleep. It they want sex, they have sex. Man is always going against nature. He builds houses to counteract nature. Fire, heaters, air-conditioners, dams, and even clothes are beyond nature. They are against nature.

Why, then, do we allow people to talk us into this stupid idea that "it is just natural for people to do this or that"? "It’s human nature." Yes! And it’s natural to be naked, so why don’t you go naked? The natural thing is to always try to feel good. What feels good must be good. Right? Well, cocaine feels good. Heroin feels good. Come on, people, wake up.


What God has made let no man consider bad. Therefore, sex is good. Right? Yes, but let us hold some of God’s good earth in our hands. Look at it. From this soil all good grows and feeds the world. This soil is the life blood of the world. It is good. Now, let us throw it on the rug of our living room. Now it is dirt. What was soil (in place) has become dirt (out of place). The same is true about sex. Sex is very natural; in fact, it is more than natural. It is super-natural.

The very last of all God’s creations was woman. After woman God stopped the process of creating out of nothing. He reserved the woman for the last because she was the best. She was the crowning point of His creation. Why? Because God created in order to show His love and to be loved by those He loved. Even the creation of the ones He loved had to be out of love. Even the creation of those, who would be in the image and the likeness of God, who could never die, who would (like God) have free will, must be by a two-way love. She would become the instrument by which He and the woman together would create humans that could never die, humans that could love, and love requires free will.

God gave to woman something sacred and holy that He did not give to man. He gave to her a tabernacle of creation. The womb of woman, unlike anything else in the universe, greater even than the angels, is the tabernacle where God and woman cooperate together in the creation of eternal beings. God and His creation process enter into the tabernacle, and there He remains creating and forming the saints, the martyrs, the entire reason for all of creation.

This is why man is the servant of the woman, the protector, the provider, the caretaker. In scripture everything that is holy to God must be veiled. The Ark was veiled. The Holy of Holies was veiled. Even the utensils used in the sacrifice were veiled. This is why the Jewish law required even the woman veiled. She is sacred. The woman and the very act of sex must be treated as holy. The misuse of this sacrament is no different than the misuse of any of God’s sacraments.


Let’s consider a man or woman properly trained by family, priest, Catholic school, or even extended family. Maybe it would be even better to take a man, one who was not brought up in the proper family or church but who saw the light at a later date. This is not hard to imagine since anyone new to the Church has access to all the great saints regarding moral theology. Let us assume he writes in his diary a letter to his other self.

My dear best half,

I don’t know if you exist, and I guess it doesn’t really matter. All is in God’s hands. Somehow, though, I know that you do. I may never meet you, and if that is the case I blame myself. In my early life I did not wait and prepare for you. I knew nothing about God and His tender guiding hand in our lives. Through an education in physiology I was taught to do whatever felt good at the time. I was never taught how to love. Maybe because I didn’t wait, you went off and married someone else. Since God pre-ordains our lives, this would be wrong, and I would be to blame for messing up your life also.

But now, over the past 21 years, I have remained pure for you. I now know that if I was to even date a girl I would be committing adultery against you, even though I haven’t met you yet. I work out and lift weights. I watch my diet and stay thin. But no one has ever seen me even in a close-fitting shirt. I work out for you and no one else.

How will I know you when I see you? Well! I now know that the physiologists were wrong about having things in common. It is opposites that attract. We will probably have nothing in common except faith. Like me, you will be a daily communicant. Unlike me, you will be very quiet and shy. Unlike me, you will be slow and detailed and exact in all that you do. Unlike me, you like indoor activities. Unlike me, you will be fun and everyone will like to be around you. In God’s providence, everything that I lack, you will make up for. My lack of prayer will be your strength.

When we meet we will know. We will never be alone together because the attraction will be very strong. We will never touch even one finger to another, because this would violate the oath we make at confession, "to avoid the mere occasion of sin".

And when we say to each other, "I do", and you lift your veil, I will touch you for the first time. And when we complete the marriage on the wedding night, I will (for the first time in 21 years) put on cologne. I will prepare somewhat like I prepare to go to communion, with great fear, anticipation, and knowing that I must now give all of me without reserve. I will stand before you unashamed as in the garden of Paradise and say, "Here is your body. I have preserved it for you only. I have kept it a garden enclosed. It was never mine, only yours, and so I have preserved it for you alone.

Rick Salbato

Managing Editor

Unity Publishing, Inc.